My People, My People

I'm participating in an Intergroup Dialogue program for staff at my institution (small liberal arts college). We've been meeting for four weeks and we are beginning to enter what I believe will be a deeper, more substantive level of discourse. And I find myself reflecting on how I'm managing and contributing to the discussions.

Our current focus on whiteness and privilege is, to me, incredibly critical to the conversation. I’ve been revisiting Francie Kendall's 'Understanding White Privilege' (2006). I recommend it (along with so many other texts) to those of you who are interested in further 'unpacking' whiteness and privilege.

I looked to Kendall not only because her work, along with Tim Wise, Peggy McIntosh, Paula Rothenberg…(the list goes on), was transformative in my understanding of this at first unpalatable reality (white skin color privilege), but also because in this new context of exploration (the staff dialogue) I suddenly (and somewhat surprisingly) feel myself struggling with my fear, pain, anger, frustration, etc. I am conflicted about this moment of (publicly) ‘turning myself inside out’ to work through this with and among other colleagues – until now this has been a relatively solitary journey for me and the opportunity to move beyond that is invaluable (and challenging to be sure).

I firmly believe that all of this ‘work’ must start there – with the self-exploration and self-reflection. Kendall talks about the importance of beginning with ourselves: “…if we do not work to change ourselves and our systems, we continue to be complicit in the oppression of others whether we mean to or not. We do this exploration because our lives depend on it – our physical, psychological, spiritual, and economic lives.” But I also can’t escape how difficult this is. It’s difficult because we’ve all anesthetized and dissociated ourselves in order to survive.

The point is I keep coming back to that quote – I need to do this, no matter how challenging and uncomfortable, because my life depends on it.

I am reminded of some reflection activities I’ve worked through in workshops with Francie. I’d like to suggest one in particular. This sort of ‘excavation’ of self.

Looking at Yourself

Part I

How do you perceive of yourself? As a group of identities or as NOT something/somethings?

Part II

How do you create daily mind-games to reassure yourself that your picture of yourself is accurate?

At Work

With whom do you interact? With whom do you NOT interact? [Consciously or unconsciously]

Socially

What activities and what people do you surround yourself with to affirm the stories you have told yourself about who you are and to keep yourself from having to be “uncomfortable”?

How do you confirm the rightness of your choices regarding activities you involve yourself in and the people with whom you surround yourself?

What do you gain from these choices?

Who do you/might you exclude because of the choices you make? By doing so, what experiences and possibly learnings do you miss?